He's a good man

I can remember the first time I went out with him. He was different from all the rest. He didn't hold my interest by being "cool" or "a little rough" and he didn't impress me with meaningless gifts and empty words. He got me because he was different. He was nice and kind and he wanted something to do with a girl that just had a baby boy and an 8 year old little girl. Can this even be real? The first time he called me we talked for probably 3 hours and it just felt good. I hadn't been treated this way...ever! I always thought I knew the kind of guy I wanted to marry but this guy wasn't any of those things. He didn't have tattoos or facial hair, he didn't have a car that had bass and sat low to the ground or a motorcycle that said Harley Davidson down the side. He didn't disrespect me or my family and my needs came before his. I had to keep this one.....and I did. January 13th, 2007 I took his last name.

I wish I could say from that day on it's been bliss and happiness but I can't. We've had our fair share of break ups and misunderstandings. We've said things to each other that only God can erase from our minds. On more than one occasion we've both talked about how we think we would better for someone else besides each other and almost came to an agreement that it's going to be that way and we'd be ok with that. We've hated hard but our love always came through much harder. I use to read or see about other people's marriage and wish mine could be that way. I want the perfect husband. I want that lifestyle. I want what they have. For so long I felt like I was just wishing like everybody else to have the perfect marriage like I seen so many have.

I've recently been getting blog posts from Proverbs 31 Ministries and it is changing my perspective on marriage and what's ideal. I'm learning more and more that nobody has the perfect marriage and that's ok! I could list, and I know Shawn could also, a page a mile long on what we don't like about each other or what we wish we could change but the one thing that I know we both feel for each other is the ability to never give up on each other no matter how bad it gets.

We took divorce off the table....period. It's not an option ever. Although there could have potentially been "better spouses" for us we have each other and we're going to work toward making ourselves the best spouse to each other..  Instead of meditating on what went wrong or what he said wrong or what he did wrong, I think on the good things about him. How for no apparent reason he will sit beside me, put my feet on his lap and rub my legs and feet without me even asking or hinting about it AND without any expectations for him afterwards. He tells me enough times that it never gets old how sexy I am or how beautiful and amazing I am. He prays with our son (whom he didn't have to accept but did) and secretly tells me how he loves Shaylee and wants a good relationship with her (it's a working progress but I know it's coming). He loves to spend time with me and take me places just to see my smile or hear me laugh. He helps around the house without me asking him to...most of the time lol, and he is faithful and committed to me and for that I consider myself pretty lucky.

We still have our moments and sometimes I wonder if I can handle anymore but I know God is the center of Shawn and I and with Him we can work through anything. I'm realizing more and more every single day how I can better the marriage and contribute to making him happy and making him feel secure, loved and needed. Marriage is work. Don't ever let anyone tell you different. If you're not working at you marriage, it's already failing. I made a vow on January 13th, 2007 to always love and support and encourage Shawn and I will until my last breath. There are so many things about him that any girl would want in her life and I'm lucky enough to call him mine. All the other stuff, "human stuff", well it's just stuff that we have to work through and I wouldn't want anyone else to help me through my stuff than him and I know he'd say the same thing about me.

I love you Peffley! You've made me crazier than anyone ever has, you take me to levels of mad I've never been, but I wouldn't want anyone else to see me through all that crazy than you. You've stuck with me through all my moments and mishaps and never have given up on us and I'm so thankful for that. Your hunger for God is unmistakable. You're moldable for Jesus and that's so impressive to me. You're so sweet and attentive to my needs no matter what they are. 

You're a good man Shawn Lee and your all mine.

A love letter to me....

Have you ever written yourself a love letter? I see all these pictures and signs about being a good person and loving who you are and all that fun stuff but have you ever made it personal to you? Have you ever, in your best days, wrote down things you love about yourself and then picked it up on a rainy day and read it out loud to yourself? Some of you may think you're too cool for this or "above it" or maybe you don't think you're good enough for such a letter. But let me assure everyone that reads this...YOU ARE LOVED AND SO GREAT AND SO NEEDED IN THIS WORLD! No matter your situation or circumstance, no matter who told you otherwise, you are important and nobody is above needing love or being reminded of how great they are.

I know sometimes I feel less than. I feel unimportant. I feel disconnected from all things good. But those are just feelings and feelings are so fickle AND feelings are what the enemy satan uses to trick you into believing you aren't good enough or pretty enough or cool enough. Maybe he tries to tell you you're not smart enough, or a good enough person, parent or friend. Stop believing those lies! Every single breathing thing has a purpose in this world no matter what you've heard or even believed. God loved you so much before you were even born that he allowed his son to be crucified for you. If it would have been only you and nobody else on this earth, he still would have done it. That's big love yall! So let's write our letters to ourselves! Keep it somewhere that's easy to get to at anytime. Don't forget to pull it out when you need a little lift. Maybe pray before you write it so that the Holy Spirit can inspire words for you. And nobody should see this letter but you so go nuts with it! Say how awesome you are and how smart and funny you are. How dedicated you are to something or someone. What are your talents and gifts? Think on things that are good and write those down.

Make sure when you write this letter that you don't listen to the lies in your head that says "you say that now but last week you did this", or "you're the only one that thinks that", or anything negative. DONT BELIEVE THE LIES! You are gifted and talented and blessed and loved and beautiful, loyal, trustworthy, dedicated, hardworking, committed, pretty, handsome, artsy, fun, inspirational, and whatever else you can think of. Maybe add some scriptures that remind you of how great you are!

Then on those days where you feel less than, pull it out and thank God that you are all those things you wrote down. It will change your "feelings" in an instant!!

Jodi Shavon

Who am I??

Who am I? Where did I come from? What does my name mean?

Now obviously I came from my mothers womb and created by God, I get that completely. But what about my name? God made no mistakes when he birthed the name into my parents minds so I did some research. I was overly blessed by what I found....

 My first name, Jodi, means Joseph in Hebrew. The definition of Jodi is "Jehovah increases" or "God will increase". It came from the hebrew origin and the meaning is of Judea. I don't know about anyone else but I think that's awesome! I translate that to mean I carry the same name as that of Jesus' Father! God will increase my borders, my blessings, His presence, His power, all that He has and is in my life, He will increase it!. And knowing that the meaning is that of a place that Jesus was born??? So neat to know! On to my middle name...

Shavon - It's Irish or Gaelic and it means "God is Gracious". Thats all I could find on my middle name but how amazing is it that my middle names means God is Gracious. To me he will be gracious! His Grace overflows in my life! Now on to my last name from birth....

Robinson - I found a whole bunch of information on this but I don't want to bore anyone with the details. It was derived from the name Robin's son who loved outdoors and music and nature. HELLO? That's me!! And I also found our family crest which I thought was really neat. Here it is..

Knowing this information doesn't change the fact that I was created by God for a plan and purpose, regardless of what my name could have been. I just think it's really interesting what my names mean. I accept all of them! =)

He's got this

Jeremiah 29:11 is the scripture that I've been standing on so much lately. When I feel there are hard decisions that I need to make I fall on the Word of the Lord that tells me that God knows the plans He has for me. I can't worry or fear or stress about what I think I should do, I just have to trust that God is in control. The feelings I'm having are real and raw and sometimes scary. I get these pits in my stomach when I think about decisions that I need to make but I always have to take it to God and let him sort it out. There is peace in that. I have to trust that if he doesn't want me to do something he will let me know. He opens doors when I need a way and closes them when I need to stand firm.

I spoke a while back at my church about how Jehoshaphat was facing a huge war and he wasn't sure what to do so he stood firm and had everyone he knew bow down in worship to the Lord and the Lord saved them all. He created a way for Jehoshaphat to prosper and be blessed. All Jehoshaphat had to do was be still in his mind and spirit, stand firm and worship the Lord. What power we have in the Lord! I rejoice knowing that He is in charge of me and everything I do. I wouldn't want it any other way!

"Thank you Father that you know what is in store for me. I trust you with my whole heart. I submit my will and what I think are good plans at your feet, help me to leave them there. Sometimes I get scared when I think about a new journey with you so help me in those moments, remind me who you are. Holy Spirit, rise up in me to supply the peace of Jesus Christ. Infuse me with your presence so much so that I never doubt. I will worship you while I struggle. I will worship you in the midst of this test and I will worship you after it passes. My soul will rest in you Lord and all of your goodness. I know you have great plans for me and that's all I want is what you would have for me. In my human moments of wanting to lash out at people or be quick to respond, hold my tongue Lord. Rest my mind so that I wait for you and what you would have me say. Steady my spirit so I can see the issue through your eyes not my own. We all fail and we all fall short, I am above no one. Help me to stay humble and aware of my dependency on you. I will wait for you Lord to tell me what to do and where to go."

Jodi Shavon

My time with the Lord

Today was the first day that I decided, once again, that I was going to make time for the Lord. I've done this in the past and its been such a good, positive experience...you would think I wouldn't stop huh? But I get tired. I am a full time mother, wife, employee and friend. What time does that leave me right??  To get up an hour early when I could be dreaming and resting up for the day ahead just doesn't make sense to me in the natural. But in getting that extra hour of sleep or making time for me by watching some drama on tv or reading a book in the evening instead of getting in the Word, my spirit man is starving. It's dehydrated and weak, susceptible to sickness and attack. Things that I could easily let fall off my back become stuck in the trap that is my everyday life. Little things seem big. Stress grows into a mountain from a mole hill. When I don't make time to spend with my God, it completely alters my life and sadly enough I don't realize it until it's ALMOST too late. Too late to me would be becoming prideful in life and not realizing my dependency on God and losing my humility and need for Christ daily. Too late would never ever mean God turning His back on me, He said He never would. Which is all the more reason to learn more about him, to invest in his life story, to dive head first into his love for me everyday. I want to start my day right and today I did.

For a few months now I've felt very dry and disconnected. I've been asking God what's going on. Why am I feeling so lost and empty? I would pick up my bible from time to time, blow the dust off of it, and read for about 3 minutes and then would lose interest because it did nothing "for me" and continue to complain. Why God? Why am I feeling this way? Why don't I feel you near me anymore? And there would be moments, like my miracle (see my last post on that) that would happen and I would remember how good God is in my life so I would pick up my bible a little more, there would be less dust and I would read a little longer because I was beginning to read about a man whose spirit dwells within me. I was beginning to see the need to get into the Word as more of something I could learn more from not something I could receive more from. Don't get me wrong, I firmly believe the God breathed, spirit inspired Word of the Lord was given to us to bless us, grow us, strengthen us and challenge us in our daily lives. But when my focus became more about him and less about me, my heart started to change. I wasn't being selfish, trying to figure out how to change me and search through the bible like it was a self help, quick fix, kind of book. I was learning more about the only one living inside me that could change me from the inside out and the more I'm learning about Jesus the more I'm seeing less of me and more of him. It's a win win situation.

Someone that has inspired me so much with the benefits of getting into God's Word has been George Mueller. He was a dedicated man to God and the fruits in his life showed just that. Here is a caption on George Mueller's life:

How George Mueller read God’s Word

Living by faith

George Mueller lived in England in the 1800′s.  He lived by faith — founding orphanages, relying on God for finances, seeing miraculous answers to prayer.

How he read the Bible

“I saw more clearly than ever, that the first great and primary business to which I ought to attend every day was, to have my soul happy in the Lord.

“The first thing to be concerned about was not, how much I might serve the Lord, how I might glorify the Lord; but how I might get my soul into a happy state, and how my inner man might be nourished.

“For I might seek to set the truth before the unconverted, I might seek to benefit believers, I might seek to relieve the distressed … and yet, not being happy in the Lord, and not being nourished and strengthened in my inner man day by day, all this might not be attended to in a right spirit …

“Now I saw that the most important thing I had to do was to give myself to the reading of the Word of God and to meditation on it, that thus my heart might be comforted, encouraged, warned, reproved, instructed; and that thus, whilst meditating, my heart might be brought into experimental [experiential], communion with the Lord …

“The first thing I did, after having asked in a few words the Lord’s blessing upon His precious Word, was to begin to meditate on the Word of God; searching, as it were, into every verse, to get blessing out of it; not for the sake of public ministry of the Word; not for the sake of preaching on what I had meditated upon; but for the sake of obtaining food for my own soul.

“The result I have found to be almost invariably this, that after a very few minutes my soul has been led to confession, or to thanksgiving, or to intercession, or to supplication; so that though I did not, as it were, give myself to prayer, but to meditation, yet it turned almost immediately more or less into prayer …

“The result of this is, that there is always a good deal of confession, thanksgiving, supplication, or intercession mingled with my meditation, and that my inner man almost invariably is even sensibly nourished and strengthened and that by breakfast time, with rare exceptions, I am in a peaceful if not happy state of heart.

“I dwell so particularly on this point because of the immense spiritual profit and refreshment I am conscious of having derived from it myself, and I affectionately and solemnly beseech all my fellow-believers to ponder this matter.”

• His priority each day was to nourish his soul in the Word.
• He was not content with knowing about God — he wantedexperiential communion with God.
• Experiential communion with God happened through meditating on God’s Word.
• He mingled meditation on God’s Word with prayer over God’s Word.
• With rare exceptions this resulted in peace and even joy.

-Thank you Lord for being patient with me during my human moments. You are the only one that will never hold my failures against me. I love the time that we had this morning and I look forward to the next time we meet face to face to slow dance a little, talk a little, and just be in each others presence. I know you enjoy my time just as much as I do with you. You bring peace to my mind, comfort to my soul and rest for my body. Thank you that you rejuvenate me in the mornings so that I can be a vessel for you throughout each day. James 4:8 says "Draw near to God and He will draw near to you". Thank you Father that you draw closer to me when I draw close to you. You never leave or abandon me but I thank you that you draw even closer to me when I draw into you. You are the stillness that I need in my life. You are the song that I need to hear throughout the day. You are the rock that I want to build my whole existence on. Without you I fail, but with you I conquer giants because of your spirit working in me. I love you my Savior.

Jodi Shavon