Two years ago my husband Shawn had back surgery. We thought one surgery would do it but he had three over a two year period. During that time he was given pain meds that helped immensely in his recovery. I won't go into a long story about the journey that we've been on but to sum things up he became addicted to the pain meds. What use to help with the pain became what he used to escape reality and numb every emotion. Shawn and I have been down a road I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. Through it all I've trusted in God and His love for both Shawn and I and I was promised from the Lord that August 23rd would come. I didn't know it would be that exact date but I knew it was coming. Shawn surrendered his addiction to God and he's now in a recovery center for the next year.
Our finances were drained. Our marriage was almost dissolved (not because I was walking away but because Shawn was so tormented that he just wanted to run). Our kids have been exposed to things I'd never want anyone to go through. Never were they in any harm but they have been emotionally affected by this. Our entire family has. But there is such a great story unfolding because of this...
Shawn's family and I have never, and I mean never, had a relationship before this and now we chat often and we spend weekends together. My husband sends me letters proving that he is becoming the man I always knew he would be. He loves the Lord now with his whole heart. He's praying all day and doing devotionals and getting fed spiritually. It's what he's needed for so long. He is no longer on any depression medication. His body is recovering and his detoxing time was minimal. My kids are seeing strength in their mother and learning that God never fails us. He is faithful when we are faithful and I would NEVER give up on my husband or Gods promises. I took a vow for better or worse, good times and bad and I stand by him. I'm proud of him. Most people wouldn't or think that they can't overcome addiction. It seems too hard or not worth it. I know all the nights that I cried after an attack from Shawn that Jesus cried with me. He held me when Shawn couldn't. I say couldn't because the man I married would never make me cry, Shawn wasn't himself during this whole thing. He was bound by evil and torment and he was getting to the point that he couldn't love himself or anyone else. It was so sad.
Drug addiction is SUCH a scary thing. I saw things in Shawn's eyes I pray I never see again and he said things I pray I never hear again. Anyone that knows Shawn knows that he wouldn't even smoke weed back in the day but these pills got him. This prescription drug addiction is a huge killer of people all over the world. It's taking our loved ones by storm and it's a creeping addiction. What is used to help now hurts.
Shawn is being stretched and he's learning about Gods love for him. It's beautiful to watch. And I'm learning to lean on the everlasting love of my heavenly Father more and more everyday. I won't worry about the next bill or house payment or where our food comes from because my help comes from the Lord. That feels so safe and good and comforting to me.
Side note to people reading this- Don't let the devil take anymore from you. He can only take what you give. Stand strong and let God defeat your enemies. He will if you trust Him. It's His time not yours. We all face giants but they are nothing to the God we serve.
I love my husband, more now than ever. He is so strong for seeing this through. Many quit. He's fighting everyday to not come home with me but we both now he's where he needs to be. Prayers are appreciated!! There is going to be such a great testimony that comes from this. By the Blood of the Lamb and the Word of our Testimony WE OVERCOME!!!
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