If any of you know me personally you know that my husband Shawn has either been laid off from his job or off work recovering from surgery so during that time I've had to carry the weight of the finances. And again if you know me you know I make decent money but not enough to provide for a family of 5. So during this down time it's been a real struggle for us. I've wondered where money was going to come from to feed the kids and how the house payment was going to get made and car payment and utilities and all the things that come with living these days. We stopped tithing because we thought we needed that money to survive (which is such crap that I even believed that lie from hell). Some things have gotten so far behind but we are believing for a miracle to restore all of that. These past few weeks has probably been the worst weeks ever. Last friday came (two fridays ago), payday, and after I paid the bills I was negative in my account...we'll just say by a lot. This Friday came and I was able to replenish the account just to break even after I paid what I needed and after my husband and I decided that we were going to tithe. No matter what happened we were going to tithe again. We've seen the blessings that God provides when we are obedient. So when my gas light came on Friday on my way to work and we didn't have but mac and cheese and a little milk in the fridge, worry started to enter my mind....especially after I look in our account and see nothing but zeros. We pretty much spent the weekend with my parents so that we could eat and they gave me $20 to put in my car so it would hopefully get me back and forth to work. I told them that I lost my card so I couldn't access my account until Monday so that they wouldn't worry about anything. I didn't want anyone to know about our struggles.
Monday came and my gas light came on again. I got to work and just felt numb. How has this become my life? I started thinking about all the stuff I could sell to get gas and grocery money. I texted my husband telling him my game plan and how we need to do this and we need to do that and he said this, "Talk to God Babe, pray, be still, he knows our needs and he will provide beyond our thoughts. We just have to stay the course and continue to be obedient."The person who is usually haired out about the slightest little financial thing is telling me to settle down! I heard him loud and clear though. I heard the Holy Spirit in his words and I listened and obeyed. I sat at my desk on my lunch and just stared at the computer screen. I was so hungry I could have eaten dirt to rid the sick feeling I had. I didn't know what to pray or how anymore. I thought I had done all I could and said all I could to give God the go ahead to do what he needed to. And then it hit me, I was telling God my problems, dumping them on Him, instead of thanking Him for the answer already. It was one of these things "God I know I've screwed up but we're tithing again and we're going to do all that we can to listen to you. God we have messed up so much and we're sorry. We always make a mess of things and look at us now! We can barely feed our kids?!?.......blah blah blah. And I'd always end it with "but I know you will provide". I never doubted who I know God was and is but I think deep down I doubted that he was that God to ME. I've made a mess of things and now I'm getting what's coming to me right?? SO WRONG. God doesn't work like that. He doesn't "teach us lessons" like that. He allows things yes, but he doesn't cause them! (I could preach on this but I won't haha). So as I'm sitting at my desk, lunch time, I just whispered and I said "God, you give me good gifts according to YOUR riches. You make all things new. You restore what the enemy has stolen. You are a God of love and abundance. You don't want me or my family to struggle and I know that Lord so right now I receive my miracle. I receive all that you have for me and my family. I receive your goodness and peace. I'm ready for my miracle." And I truly believed the words that were coming out of my mouth. For the first time I was speaking what I believed not just what I knew. I trusted God with my whole life. Then still feeling almost numb I started googling miracles in 2013. What has God done lately? I haven't heard about much. And I came across this atheist website where they dispute every miracle from God and say it's just happenstance. As I'm reading this garbage, doubt wanted to come in and tell me that God doesn't do miracles anymore. That I've messed up so bad that I don't deserve it and the big one that scared me was "God doesn't even exist anymore." I instantly out loud very quietly though said this "I believe you Lord. I believe you're the same yesterday, today and forever. I believe you for my miracle. I believe that your son Jesus was crucified to give me life and I believe in you for restoration." I closed down that online page and went to another one where it was nothing but miracles from God. I began to thank God for the miracles in those people's lives. It was beautiful to me. My Lord exists and he loves hard.
My lunch was almost over and I still felt absent in my body. That's the only way I can explain what I was feeling. My phone rang and it was my husband. He sounded out of breath and was talking fast. I could barely understand him so I said "slow down honey, I can't hear you." "Jodi, I don't know where it came from, there's no trace on the money but there is enough in our account to get groceries and put gas in your car." WHAT!?!??! Are you serious!?!?!? Is this happening right now??? I just said " Ok" and hung up. I couldn't even speak! I was flooded with the reality that I just received my miracle, God answered me within minutes of my prayer to Him. I couldn't even cry I just sat there in shock. God does work miracles. He did hear me so clearly. Shawn never even knew I had prayed just minutes before he called.
Once my work day was over and I got in my car it hit me hard. Right beside me sat the spirit of the Lord. It overwhelmed me and I heard him say so clearly as if it came through my speakers in my car "Tell people Jodi, don't keep my blessings to you a secret. People need to know that I want to bless them and help them but so many don't share their blessings from me." And through my weeping and insane gratitude to God I simply said "Yes Lord".
So here I am telling my story. As pathetic as it sounds that at my age I thought I needed my parents to help me and can't pay all of my bills, God is the one that makes the way. God is the only one that can provide for me and my family. God is real. God is ready to bless and he wants my story told for HIS GLORY. I did nothing but believe him in the midst of what I thought was absolute failure...he didn't see it that way. He saw me finally get out of the way so he could bless me. And I'm continuing to believe him too for more miracles and signs and wonders so that people will see the living God. And I don't mean just help with finances but any miracle, any way, to anyone.
And I have to say this to any skeptics out there that would say "oh someone put it in your account, it was a gift for a birthday or a bill overpayment that you finally received."
1. It's neither of our birthdays.
2. We are behind on bills so there is no overpayment that we got.
3. We just opened this account so nobody knew about it.
4. We didn't air our dirty laundry about being broke so nobody knew to help us.
5. There's no trace on the money.
IT WAS THE LIVING GOD....PERIOD.
He is real, he does exist and he does bless and provide. I felt him in a way, yesterday, that I have never felt him before. I felt loved and held. I drove away with the Lord right next to me knowing that he will never allow me to go beyond what he knows I can handle. He's got this...always.
Thank you Lord for your love in my life. Thank you for being the God that I know is real and exists and provides. Thank you for loving me in my darkest moments and forgetting them even before I do. Thank you for the groceries and gas that you provided the money for. I know it was only you that did that. I won't search any longer to try and disprove what you did. You placed that money in our account, it was just enough, and I thank you for it. Now Lord I ask that you bless the person reading this. I pray that they would know that you are real and have no doubts about this miracle. I pray they share it with someone only to bring you glory. May you be exalted by this testimony. I pray that whoever is reading this, if they are believing for a miracle, that they would receive theirs in Jesus' name. They would too know it's only you Lord that can do miracles like this and they would be given the boldness to share their testimony. I thank you that all doubt would be removed from their minds and they would first know how much they are loved by you Lord and then how much you want to bless them. I pray that they would shout it from the rooftops when their miracle hits in their lives, whatever it is. I thank you Holy Spirit that you will help and guide each of us through this journey called life and that with your help we can be mighty conquerors for Christ! May you be lifted to the highest place Lord through this testimony and lives be forever changed by your Grace.
In Jesus Name,
Amen
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